Serious Why getting a social circle is the most important thing you can do (period)

[AshenMan]

Just go outside and do things. You'll meet people.

It's that simple really

 

[Tabula Rasa]

i just dont like other ppl tbh

 

[nagolpeso]

It's that simple really

Just walked to the store in Mexico... came back drunk, fed, green stuff, and maybe some other things in my pocket. I didnt buy any of it. Still got my cash. Go for a walk and say hello.

 

[ThirdyAughtSix]

Just walked to the store in Mexico... came back drunk, fed, green stuff, and maybe some other things in my pocket. I didnt buy any of it. Still got my cash. Go for a walk and say hello.

I should get a tan and go to mexico for the fuck of it

 

[Khastle]

I should get a tan and go to mexico for the fuck of it

Yeah go live with Nagol, just bring a buttplug so he doesn't bum you in the night.

 

[nagolpeso]

I should get a tan and go to mexico for the fuck of it

Do it.

Yeah go live with Nagol, just bring a buttplug so he doesn't bum you in the night.

Quit trying to project your personal fantasies onto others.

 

[melty]

I feel like it's over. I only meet people in games I play online. I probably have some amount of autism and certainly ADHD. When I get talking about interesting topics I can talk but for going into shops it's a nightmare. I always fuck up the greetings. I moved here two years ago and have barely met anyone my age. It's all old people here. I tried going to a church group for young adults and couldn't break the ice enough to make a friend in there. How is someone supposed to go from zero to starting to get somewhere? I think I'm going to just start going to the gym and when I get fit i'll just use tinder to meet girls.

 

[Lickety]

I feel like it's over. I only meet people in games I play online. I probably have some amount of autism and certainly ADHD. When I get talking about interesting topics I can talk but for going into shops it's a nightmare. I always fuck up the greetings. I moved here two years ago and have barely met anyone my age. It's all old people here. I tried going to a church group for young adults and couldn't break the ice enough to make a friend in there. How is someone supposed to go from zero to starting to get somewhere? I think I'm going to just start going to the gym and when I get fit i'll just use tinder to meet girls.

You don't. Nothing ever happens.

 

[melty]

You don't. Nothing ever happens.

So it's over?

 

[Lickety]

So it's over?

Ya.

 

[melty]

Ya.

Are you a doomer with no social life or a chad with everything?

 

[Lickety]

Are you a doomer with no social life or a chad with everything?

 

[ignika98]

How is someone supposed to go from zero to starting to get somewhere?

Depends. How pick are you about the kinds of people you'd wanna be friends with?

 

[melty]

Depends. How pick are you about the kinds of people you'd wanna be friends with?

I guess maybe people who like to talk about stuff and are friendly enough. I don't mind if they do drugs. I don't care what type they are: barbarian, bro, nerd etc. actually I would like people I could be my true self around. Most of the time I hide it like a chameleon.

 

[AshenMan]

I got excommunicated, yet again. God I wish I live in a country that speaks English.

 

[ThirdyAughtSix]

I feel like it's over. I only meet people in games I play online. I probably have some amount of autism and certainly ADHD. When I get talking about interesting topics I can talk but for going into shops it's a nightmare. I always fuck up the greetings. I moved here two years ago and have barely met anyone my age. It's all old people here. I tried going to a church group for young adults and couldn't break the ice enough to make a friend in there. How is someone supposed to go from zero to starting to get somewhere? I think I'm going to just start going to the gym and when I get fit i'll just use tinder to meet girls.

I know this is gonna sound really out of fucking touch and gaslighty , which you can take it however you want . But generally practice does make perfect , the more social interactions you do with people autistic you get . I know thats gonna sound completely fucking insane , but khast can vouch for me on this . Even if its harder for autistic fucks to learn things socially, you generally can pickup on things consciously and buildup your "personality". Of course this is effected by a multitude of things I won't go into for the sake of simplicity but for the most part you can outgrow that inability to talk to people. I'd start by just making smalltalk to cashiers and whatnot , then try to expand into your work's social group which is gonna be your main group for the time being im assuming . Of course small talk with them and try to buildup connections and networks with them.

 

[ignika98]

I guess maybe people who like to talk about stuff and are friendly enough. I don't mind if they do drugs. I don't care what type they are: barbarian, bro, nerd etc. actually I would like people I could be my true self around. Most of the time I hide it like a chameleon.

Something important that you have to realize is that getting embarrassed is actually not that big of a deal. If you stumble or say something stupid you'll likely end up thinking about it a lot more than everyone else will. Once you get over your fear of being embarrassed it'll be much easier for words to just come out of your mouth.

The next step is to learn when to stop talking, AKA how to not be annoying. If you're autistic this may require other, normal people to tell you when you've said enough and generally just "keep you in line." It's important not to take offense to this, though. As an autistic person you have trouble reading social cues, and so you need to place your trust in others to tell you what's what without getting upset.

 

[melty]

Interesting. I thought it’s over when it’s over.

 

[Khastle]

I know this is gonna sound really out of fucking touch and gaslighty , which you can take it however you want . But generally practice does make perfect , the more social interactions you do with people autistic you get . I know thats gonna sound completely fucking insane , but khast can vouch for me on this . Even if its harder for autistic fucks to learn things socially, you generally can pickup on things consciously and buildup your "personality". Of course this is effected by a multitude of things I won't go into for the sake of simplicity but for the most part you can outgrow that inability to talk to people. I'd start by just making smalltalk to cashiers and whatnot , then try to expand into your work's social group which is gonna be your main group for the time being im assuming . Of course small talk with them and try to buildup connections and networks with them.

Yeah this 100%, I'd go one step further and encourage you to also go into environments you're not used to and may potentially get bullied in for standing out for being a sperg. Yes you may be uncomfortable and yeah you'll probably get picked on, harshly or mildy, for your quirks but its in these environments you'll learn to adapt better and smarter as staying in environments where you expect everyone to be tolerant and accepting of you will not prepare you for situations where you have to act proper and not like a sperg to progress socially with folk. Not enough autistic people come out their comfort zones quite frankly and stick to their own safe spaces, and it does them no good at all when difficult situations happen in the real world.

Something important that you have to realize is that getting embarrassed is actually not that big of a deal. If you stumble or say something stupid you'll likely end up thinking about it a lot more than everyone else will. Once you get over your fear of being embarrassed it'll be much easier for words to just come out of your mouth.

The next step is to learn when to stop talking, AKA how to not be annoying. If you're autistic this may require other, normal people to tell you when you've said enough and generally just "keep you in line." It's important not to take offense to this, though. As an autistic person you have trouble reading social cues, and so you need to place your trust in others to tell you what's what without getting upset.

Yeah this is great advice too, most autists suck with conversation flow and when to and when not to say their part, they need to learn that healthy median of learning to say not too much and not too little, and occasionally nothing at all. This ties into what I said above about going into environments where this kinda sperginess will be called out as believe me in the right places you'll learn fast and it will do you the world of good socially.

 

[MemoryHead 記念頭部]

im working on it, Wither