Casual Wagie Tales

[Khastle]

Wagie Tales

Share the tales of slavery to the soulless corporations in hopes you can feed yourself.

I'm a man with many an interesting work story. I've have almost died several times at work, it being having branches fall on me to getting caught in a wood chipper, I'm pretty much a human cat with God knows how many lifes left, and tonightI have a tale that happened today, I present:

THE BRICK CUTTER GATLING GUN

So basically at the moment I work in what I call a brick factory, I'm not sure if that's it's formal name but I don't really care as that's what I'm calling it. We cut big slabs with a big brick cutting machine which turns them into usable bricks for a company we are contracted with. It's simple work, bricks get cut in machine, they come out on a conveyor belt, we place on a pallet, simple enough; do that for 9 hours and then go home, can't complain. It's boring and tiring work but pays the bills and the people are decent enough so can't complain.

Anyways, today we were working on heavy duty bricks again for the third day in a row. These are pretty much the same in shape and size as our normal and much lighter bricks we cut but are way more compact, causing them to generate way more dust when cut and being harder for the machine to cut through. The machine is old and fucking sucks at working with them, causing many a fun problem such as sparks flying out or them shooting out like bullets. Last time we did them it wasn't so bad, with only one or two projectile bricks being shot out, but today holy shit it was different.

To give context on how the machine works, there are six blades in the machine and a piston that pushes them through. It's a simple process of throw them in, pull lever, piston pushes them through to be cut, and they come through the other side. With lighter bricks this usually ain't so bad but the heavy duties, holy shit it's another story. Basically with heavy duties being harder to cut and being under the pressure of the piston's pressure to go through the machine it can end with some hectic results i.e. the bricks can literally flying through at deadly speeds. We have two pallets usually on the go, one close next to the machine and one on the other side of the room behind another wall, but anywhere where near that conveyor belt regardless of what side you're on was dangerous as these bricks were literally flying from one end of the room to the other. I had to pretty much wait for the brick slab to be cut, quickly run to pick up a line of bricks on the conveyor to be stacked, and pray I shift them quick enough before the next load of bricks was pressed through otherwise I risked being smacked in the face and getting a concussion or worse. Sometimes bricks were just flying through anyways despite not currently being cut too so that was fun, one smacked me in the arm but hit something else beforehand so it was mild, but Jesus the amount of near misses was wild, and genuinely had me on edge the whole time as I tried hard to get pallet after pallet done. Eventually the bricks were flying through so hectically that my supervisor told all of us to just get the fuck away from the machine and let him push through as much as possible first before we could stack again, and I'm sure damn glad he did as around that time is when it happened: BOOM, a horrible noise went through the room and a BANG and almost six bricks shot out the machine, flew through the little gap that let bricks from the one side of the room go the other and smacked against the adjacent wall at a speed that could take out a whole grown elephant, it was mental. Bricks went probably at 70mph easy and I was surprised the wall wasn't broke as it was a sight to behold, if the other guy on the other side of the room was near the conveyor belt at the time it happened it would have EASILY killed him clean, and that's when almost every agreed fuck this and turned off the machine for the session. Bossman didn't like this and came in and bitched at me for not stacking the bricks, saying if I can't do it may as well as go home even though I told him the machine was currently very volatile and it just wasn't safe. The other boys backed me up and said to the boss it wasn't safe at all, was told to stand away, and he was being absolutely unfair, with the boss apologizing later on but to the supervisor to tell us, not face to face which was a bit shitty but whatever. After that incident we changed the blades and moved back to the lighter bricks for rest of the day as understandably everyone got fed up of these literal brick bullets being sent through the machine which risked the lives of those who had to stack them, and rest of the day was relatively peaceful all things considered, but I'm scared for when we have to do heavy duties again as that damn machine no longer is fit for them and we really need a new one if we consider them again unless we want body bags at work.

Anyways that's my tale of risking my life for some cash, what are you lad's stories? I bet you have some good ones and I'd love to hear them below.
​

 

[Bunny]

As a kid, I'd wash windows and help the landlord take out the building's trash for money. Cut the property lawn.

Mother had several marriages. Second step father was life long painter and construction worker, so moved into that. Fucked up as a teenager with my credit card so still paying off debt. Learned tools and shit. Got more into electrical. Did all the shit you could do without needing a licence. Got stressed and left after eleven years.

Two close calls injury wise. One got palm to wrist slit with exacto by accident, nearly missed tendon. Fucked hand for awhile. Second was sawsall rebounding off floor from bent blade, cutting into thumb. Otherwise did a lot of dumb unsafe shit in general. Lungs probably full of silica dust and mold.

Tried doing the coffee chain thing. Was actually good at it, but manager was a clueless sixty-two year old who was afraid to use computers and email. Literally had to handhold her through drag and dropping images in gmail. Always sent me to fax the employee hours at a fucking corner store. Other workers were either teenagers or exchange students (the two japanese guys were alright though). People thought I was the manager because the real one just hides in the back all day.

Do store opening. Goes well. Month and a half later they cut everyone's hours by half except me and the manager, and she's useless. Constantly me alone with lines unless I specifically called for her.

Lasted another two months. They moved me to their worst store in the shittiest part of town after hinting manager position. Go from polite greeks to crackheads and hookers. Locks on the bathrooms, broken windows, list of people not allowed in, and a direct phone line to the nearest squad car. Cooking on a griddle was cool. This time manager is fat but based. Walking heart attack and absolute griddlemaster. Fucking conductor of egg sandwiches, bacon and grease.

Caught my first guy overdosing in the bathroom and said fuck that. Went back to construction for a few years. Got a warehouse job. Left it after too, but story for later since I'm high and tired.