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World News Lord Miles Ransom Letter


Herald of the Mariana
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Apr 2, 2023
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Dwayne's Basement, Mariana Bay

A very strange and eerie new development about the mad lad simply known as Lord Miles. To those unfamilar, Lord Miles is, or at this point I should be saying "was" but I wish to keep hope, a British explorer who went around the world documenting the places your travel agent would normally advise against. His most well-known exploit being exploring Afghanistan during of the fall of Kabul and somehow managing to get out of alive to tell the tale. It's a fascinating story and one I'd recommend read up about as he is an absolute legend for even doing this and I respect any man who risks his life to explore these remote locations so the general public can get a good idea on what goes on there and what life is like.

Anyways, despite escaping he decided it would be a great idea to go back which was a VERY questionable move to say the least. I guess he thought he made jolly good friends of the Taliban and he would get a warm welcome on his return, which uh wasn't the case as you can see below:

He has been inactive and not heard from for over four months, and a disturbing development has popped up on his official twitter claiming he is still alive and doing well, and will be willing to sell his story to the press for a starting bid of 5k.

If it wasn't obvious already he is clearly being held for ransom by the Taliban and someone is gonna have to bail him out if they don't want him to appear on some dark web beheading video in a month's time. It's a very unfortunate affair as his explorations were great to watch and now the risk of his death is very imminent unless something is done soon. I wish him the best and pray he escapes safely from his imprisonment.
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